The kid who whispered "zoom zoom" for Mazda commercials is probably thirty-five and divorced now and still getting residuals.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) December 5, 2014
as per tradition this Halloween I'll be going as an adult who hastily threw together a terrible costume because of societal pressure
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) October 31, 2014
Baseball is like pizza. When it's bad, it's good. When it's good, it's like a gift from the gods.
— Joe Posnanski (@JPosnanski) October 11, 2014
17th inning: Yost bunts on defense
20th inning: Yost calls for a bunt during another bunt
23rd inning: Bunt becomes self-aware, bunts
— Josh Levin (@josh_levin) October 1, 2014
I think not enough good Hot Chocolate is served in the world. A comfort food without equal.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) September 28, 2014
Rutherford B. Hayes is trending! Best named President! Last words: "I know that I am going where Lucy is." (His wife died two years before.)
— John Green (@johngreen) August 24, 2014
Here's Babe Ruth casually getting a rub down and eating a hot dog. pic.twitter.com/Kn5NonAtfD
— Sports News (@SportsZone300) August 12, 2014
— Audrey (@deWysphoto) July 23, 2014
how much would it cost?
"the guy who does our estimates isn't here right now"
around what time will he be back?
"did you not just hear me?"
— brent (@murrman5) July 22, 2014
I keep a baseball bat under my bed in case someone tries to break in and pitch a no hitter
— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) June 5, 2014
FIRE. Firebird. RT @_icze4r: The New York Philharmonic Orchestra plays Freebird
— New York Philharmonic (@nyphil) May 31, 2014
— Ervin Santana (@ErvinSantana_54) May 9, 2014
I love Opening Day but what I love even more is the morning after Opening Day when I see all the boxscores in the paper.
— Jim Caple (@jimcaple) April 1, 2014
— Dave Bry (@davebry9) January 23, 2014
That Brady TD run was like watching grampy walk to the kitchen to check on his toast.
— Jason Gay (@jasongay) January 19, 2014